letra de kool-aid man skit - dna tru lyricist
[skit]
’cause i don’t know if you are aware of this. i don’t know if you’re aware of the kool-aid man’s stats. but this man is—i wouldn’t even say “man.” this pitcher thing is a tank. first of all, he’s six feet tall, okay. we’ve seen that in the commercials. what we might not have seen is that he weighs about six thousand pounds, empty pitcher. i’m assuming when he wakes up in the morning from that one commercial. a six-thousand-pound empty pitcher, okay. then, when you add the liquid, which is over six hundred gallons, by the way. six hundred gallons in that pitcher-man. then, he weighs an astonishing eleven thousand pounds. lеt’s say he’s like an elеphant. now, does this make sense for crashing through walls? yes. did they have to make his stats canon with that? absolutely not. this is kool-aid. who is really like, “i don’t think that thing can really break through a wall.” h-how does your imagination work? please inform me. how does it work? because you’re okay with the pitcher havin’ a face and internal organs and walkin’ around talkin’, full vocal cords and everything. breakin’ through the walls, “oh yeah,” and then you’re just like, “how strong is he really to do that?” he’s not real, he’s not real. that means somebody was just like, “this man is built like a hummer.” and instead of just walkin’ up to kids like, “hey, you want some kool-aid?” pour himself out, i don’t know. has he ever poured himself into a cup for the kids? i’ve—i’ve never seen that commercial. has he ever been like, “oh yeah, just give me your cups.” all right, all right. or is that his life force? is that weird? would he be a pedophile if he was pouring himself and feeding it to little kids? maybe. that’d be crazy if he was on a-a registration list so he’d have to go, “oh, yeah! can you sign this here? i-i-i live across the street now.” that would be crazy. he just breaks into every house to announce that he lives there. i’ve gone too far, but at the end of the day, just know that the kool-aid man is nothing to be messed with. this guy is a tank, for real
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