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letra de if i was the king - steel panther

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if i was the king
i would get myself a b-tchin’ crown
and i’d make all the b-tches call me sir michael starr
i’d have a castle and a b-tchin’ throne
and at night i’d go in the town
in a big stretch hummer with a hot tub and a bar

if i was the king
i would outlaw clothes for chicks
so you could see if the shaved their p-ss-es
or if they were hiding d-cks
i’d lower the drinking age
so little kids could get drunk too
and i’d make it a f-cking crime to wear a wedding ring
if i was the king

that’d be f-ckin’ nice right?

i’d knock down all the schools
and put up licquor stores
and give free b–bjobs to the strippers and the wh-r-s
i would outlaw common sense
feed the homeless to the wolves
and if you didn’t like steel panther you’d go to jail!

if i was the king
i’d make beer the official food
and you’d never have to take the trash out
if you happen to be born a dude
you could buy hand grenades at starbucks
and take a sh-t right on the street
and i’d kill katy perry so i wouldn’t have to hear her sing
if i was the king

her comes the court jester man!

and if the motherf-cking peasents didn’t like it
i would tell them all to suck my d-ck
suck my d-ck
suck my d-ck

legalize masturbation
at every strip joint in the nation
and the minimum cup size would have to be a double d
oh yeah
but if you were in a band
you wouldn’t have to use your hand
there’d be mandatory bl-wj-bs for guys like you and me!

if i was the king
megan fox would be my queen
but i’d still f-ck christie brinkley
and any girl older than 16
i’d execute one direction
and drop a nuke on the middle east
but i’d take the oil first so we wouldn’t have to feel the sting
if i was the king
if i was the king
if i was the king

- steel panther

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